About Me

My name is Mersadie Lynn Somerville but I am known to most as just Sadie. I live in Las Vegas, Nevada. I have lived here longer that I have lived anywhere else. I have to admit, living in a city like this for most of my life has taught me a lot. I now know that not everything is so innocent. Seeing someone half naked or driving past a strip club doesn't phase me. I think that living in Las Vegas for a long period of time makes it so not much suprises you anymore. I know that I wouldn't really be suprised when I saw a billboard with a girl in a skimpy outfit on it. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing, but I think it's a good thing in the end. I know that most of us here in Vegas are anything by naive.

I am only fourteen, but I hate to lable myself with age. Fourteen seems so young, so innocent but in all reality, I have been through so much more than most people have at fourteen. I have had a lot of life lessons, most of which I didn't have to experience myself. I have seen what happens to teen mothers, drug addicts, careless spenders and so many other things. I hate to say I am glad to have seen others around me fail, but I have seen what not to do. I hope that I will keep those lessons in mind as I live my life.

On April 11th, 2007 my life changed forever. I had a back condition called Kyphosis that continiously got worse and worse. It got to a point where without surgery, I could suffer major issues. The doctors said that without the surgery, all I would be able to see at age eighteen was my feet. That did not sound at all appealing. So, on Aptil 11th, I had the surgery. Getting prepped for the surgery, I could already feel the anxiety in the pit of my stomach. I remember it like it was yesterday.. I laid on the gourney and they wheeled me into the OR. I remember waving to my mom as the doors closed, she could come with me no further. I felt my eyes well up with tears and I became overwhelmed with fear and worry. I wondered if I would ever be able to see my mom again. I wondered if I would ever be able to walk again. I wondered and wonderdered how my life would be if something were to go wrong. When I woke up, the first thing I remember seeing was my grandma. She was standing above me. I can't remember anything she said. All I can remember was the agonizing pain I felt. And then I fell back asleep. For a week, I woke up, dozed off, talked to people, wanted to scream, wanted to cry, almost wanted to die.

The fact of utter helplessness, the overwhelming pain, not being able to be independent changed me. I think that it woke me up almost. It gave me confidence for some reason. It gave me courage. I figured if I could live through that, I could live through anything. If I could handle that, I could handle anything. I definatley changed. I no longer enjoy being dependent on anyone. I no longer want to have to rely on others. I want to be completely independent and just rely on myself. I think that is partly because for almost two months, I could barely get dressed by myself. I just know that I am different, and I think in a good way. Stronger, confident, proud and I can finally hold my head up high and say "look at me world, give me your best shot". That felt great.

After meeting certain people and being shown different views of the world, I changed even more. I think that I put my confident and strength out of my head, but it was still there. I know it was. I know that I became extremely depressed. At this moment in time, I can't say what was so horrible. I can't say why I was so sad. I just knew that I wasn't happy.

After months of being unhappy with my life, it finally took another flip. I met Lauren and Dominique. Lauren is shy and sweet while Dominique is extremely outgoing and very honest. They both helped pull me out of me "depression stage". They both taught me what real friendship was and that life should be enjoyed and sulking is only nessecary when something bad happens. I thank them both for that so much.

Then there is Kasha. She has always been here for me. Through the bullies in 5th grade to the boy and friend trouble through out middle school. Despite the fact that through out our four year friendship, we haven't lived in the same state for three of them, we are still very close. Without her, I don't know what I'd do. I miss her like hell.

My family is my lifeline. My mother is fantastic and strong. I really hope that she gets better soon. My sister, Dalynn is 6. She is incredibly outgoing and social, I know she's going to be popular. Camren, my brother, will be 5 in February. He has a kind heart but a strong punch. He'll be a fighter, but more of a lover. My step-dad, Darby is like my father. I love him so much for taking care of me, my mom and Dalynn and Camren. He is a great man. My grandpa is very passionate in his beliefs and loves to share them. He is incredibly intelligant and loveable. My aunt Cami is one of those people that you could talk to for hours and hours at a time and never run out of topics. I love to cook with her. My aunt Nicolee is very expressive and talented. She tends to go out of her way to make everyone happier and I love that about her. My grandma is a great person and I miss seeing her as often as I used to. My uncle Sawyer I don't see much, but I know that he is awesome. He is so responsible and so loving. I love my family to death. They rock.

I could go on about me for forever and ever. Basically, I've been through quite a bit and learned from all of it. I have changed so much through my short but eventful life. I've been happy, I've been sad. Right now, however. I have finally found out how to be truly happy and how to truly have the desire to want to be that way. I finally have goals that I want to fufil. I have ambitions and plans for the future. I am finally content and it feels amazing.